4 Games You Should Avoid at Christmas

Christmas is most certainly not about playing videogames

Hear me moan,

Christmas should be about spending time with the family and celebrating the birth of Jesus but if we’re being honest with ourselves Christmas is the only time of year where our insatiable greed and uncontrollable eating isn’t frowned upon.

And Christmas is most certainly not about playing videogames. They will distract you from pretending you’re happy with all the shit gifts you received this year. This is a charade you must maintain all day and gaming will not aid you in your quest.

Here are 4 games you should avoid this Christmas.

Fallout 4

Christmas comes but once a year. It only lasts 24 hours. Fallout 4, on the other hand, lasts fucking ages. It’s a black hole; once it has its hold on you there’s no escaping its punishing embrace. Don’t sacrifice your marriage or your job for Fallout 4 because once it tosses you back into the unknown you’ll need money and someone to love you.

Star Wars: Battlefront

Once the important Christmas shenanigans are out of the way you have to sit awkwardly with your relatives when all you really want is some alone-time. You won’t find privacy in Star Wars: Battlefront because there’s no single player campaign. Sure, you can play offline with AI, but that’s depressing when there are warm bodies in the same house. Star Wars: Battlefront forces you to cooperate and communicate with real people, which is no different than sitting in the lounge and watching TV with your flatulent father.


Videogames are educational and influential, and gamers are incredibly impressionable. That’s why CoD and Halo turn male teens into serial killers. That’s why playing FIFA 16 this Christmas will kick-start your football career. FIFA 16 will encourage you to actually go outside with your friends. You will start wearing shorts. In December. Nobody wants that. Absolutely nobody.

Until Dawn

Halloween was months ago. Let it go.

Merry Christmas! Want to retaliate? Post a comment. I lament once a week but you can follow me on Twitter @LeeLaments where I moan every day.


Ross worked here once? what ever happened to him?
No Comment

Leave a Reply




  • Super Magbot 1280x720

    Hands-On: Super Magbot (Switch)

    HANDS-ON: SUPER MAGBOT (SWITCH)     Super Magbot sounds like a game that was backward-engineered from a Game Jam competition. In this environmental platformer Super Magbot must journey across...
  • Glyph 1280x720

    Glyph Review (Switch)

    GLYPH REVIEW (SWITCH)   In this rolling puzzle platformer a robotic dung beetle called Anobi wakes Glyph up from a deep sleep to help aid it in finding the...
  • The Last of Us Part II – One year on

    We are one year on from the release of Naughty Dog’s The Last of Us Part II; one of, subjectively, 2020’s best games. Lucy and Ben get together to...
  • Insomnia Stream – Song of Horror

    Redari takes another stab at Song of Horror, on the Insomnia Stream. Its a 3rd person, fixed-camera survival horror adventure. Will his PlayStation stay cool, or have another meltdown...
%d bloggers like this: