The Weekend Mock: Disney Finally Grabs Wolverine!

Just not for that...

Hugh Jackman has just signed a multi-picture deal with the house of mouse! Yes Disney have scooped him up for various projects currently in the works. Now eager fan-boys may be quick to jump on the rumor that he will be bringing his most famous role to the Marvel cinematic universe, but they would be wrong.

As Hugh has landed the title role of Pinocchio in the Disney sequel/reboot ‘Pinocchio 2: Return of the woodchipper’.

LOS ANGELES - OCTOBER 16: Actor Hugh Jackman talks at the Four Seasons Hotel on October 16, 2006 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Piyal Hosain/Fotos International/Getty Images)

Mr Jackman recently spoke to and said:

“I wanted to move away from the superhero genre and take on a role a little more serious and intense. In the role of Pinocchio I can really exercise my acting abilities and further my career as a dramatic actor. Whilst I will miss wolverine, I will always hold him here.”

Hugh then held up a miniature wolverine action figure.

pinocchioPinocchio 2 is being written by the The Wachowskis (The matrix) and will be directed by the ghost of Alfred Hitchcock (Star Wars episode X). The film has been described as a modern horror film noir which will see Pinocchio walk a dark path as he confronts the mass deforestation caused by the now corrupt Jiminy cricket and his Blue fairy company.

“When I read the script I knew instantly the role was for me, the opening scene is of a rain-soaked Pinocchio, beating a squirrel to death for information, so this is not one to take your kids to. As a method actor I’ve found the role a hard one to prepare for, I’ve been chewing match sticks and wearing clogs since January.”

Pinocchio Is due for a March 2018 release date and features Adam Driver as Jiminy cricket, Barbara Windsor as the blue fairy and Wolverine as Pinocchio.

If you want more Hugh Jackman before then you can catch him in ‘X-men presents: Old Man Logan’. When the Hellfire group attack Xavier’s retirement home for mutants, wolverine is pulled back into the war once again only this time he’s too old for this shit. Due summer 2017.


The Weekend Mock

Writer, Editor, Risk Taker. Dave Wyatt is the 62nd Heir to the throne. Which throne? He won't tell us. We gave him the task of writing all the profiles and the about us section. As you can see it was a mistake. However we shall keep them because he is totally a handsome chap.
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